


How It Could Have Happened, But Didn't

by Ryxl



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drabble Collection, F/M, Non-Explicit Sex, fixing canon in creative ways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:38:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4155633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryxl/pseuds/Ryxl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can we all take a minute to agree that the writers didn't handle Julia very well? Good, now let's take a minute to change Jennifer's name to Julia and give her Julia's backstory, such as it is: raised by Eleanor, crushed on Duke as a wee lass, left Haven to see the world, came back. And let's take out the part where Julia somehow disapproves of what Duke's become, and also the bit where she inexplicably wants nothing to do with the Troubles. Basically, Jennifer as an Aries with what she thinks is an unrequited crush that just never went away. </p><p>Now let's imagine how things could have gone...but didn't.</p><p>This is a collection of one-shots that derail canon by giving Duke his tiny girlfriend early. Plot holes and writing gaps have been liberally filled in with headcanon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dinner for two, and Helena's not invited

Friday night in Haven. Most people would consider the nightlife to be distinctly lacking, but for a girl who'd been away from civilization for several months and had left town shortly after turning 18, the choice of visiting one of the town's two bars or sitting at home with her mother was sufficient. Particularly since one of them, the Grey Gull, had only been open for about two weeks. But it wasn't the thrill of something new that drew Julia there; the Gull was owned by Duke Crocker, and if she was going to stay in town for a while, she was damn well going to say hello. And...possibly more than hello, depending on if he remembered her and how warmly.

The Gull was packed; clearly, novelty hadn't worn off yet. Julia drifted to the bar, collected something fruity to sip on, and was informed by the bartender that the owner was out on the back deck, expecting a dinner guest. Well, she could still say hello, at least, right? As the knockout brunette in a purple dress walked in, she slipped out into the night and took a moment to find the tall, lanky figure standing by a grill.

Julia sipped at her drink for a moment before walking almost soundlessly up under the cover of the crowd inside. Duke was clearly distracted, staring off into the night pensively and prodding at whatever he was grilling. "Waiting on a dinner guest?" she asked, hoping it wasn't the predatory brunette.

He nearly dropped both the tongs and the beer he was holding in his other hand as her voice made him jump. Then he shook his head as if trying to dismiss a hallucination and said, "Julia? When did you get back in town?"

"About two hours ago," she answered dryly. "So, having dinner with someone special?"

Duke glanced out into the night again as though weighing options and coming to what looked like an unpleasant decision. "I hope so."

Well, Julia thought sadly, there went any chance of something more than 'hello'. "Is she here yet?" she asked quietly, keeping her voice steady through years of ruthlessly not acting on her feelings.

Slowly, he turned to her with a slow smile that made her feel warm in a way the alcohol couldn't account for. "Yeah. I think she just arrived."

Julia looked around for the brunette, or any other woman who could have wandered over in the last few moments, but no one was there and she squeaked out, "Me?"

The smile gained a teasing note. "The shrimp is nearly done; if you'd like to have a seat at the table, I'll be with you momentarily."

Sure enough, there was a single table set not far away. "Okay," she said in a voice that was desperately trying not to sound disbelieving.

True to his word, she'd barely sat down before he was sliding grilled tiger shrimp onto her plate, then his, and then _sitting across from her_ like they were on a date. But of course they weren't. "What happened to your _real_ date, Duke?" she asked, grinning to show she was teasing.

He grinned back, but it was...genuine. "Stood me up. But, in retrospect, I'm glad she did. She's just a friend. You," he said, pointing with a shrimp, "are an old friend, who I haven't seen in more than a decade, and the _Cape_ has missed you, wench."

That made her laugh, even as her cheeks warmed with what was hopefully a blush hidden by shadows. "And what about her captain?"

"Every pirate crew needs a wench," he replied easily. "Eat, drink, and then come back to the _Cape_ with me. We can trade stories."

"I'd love to! But...there's something you need to know."

If she was feeling insecure, it was nothing compared to the look that flashed across his face and was gone. "You're married?" he asked, trying to make a joke of it.

Julia blushed harder, certain he could see it even in the dark, and dropped her eyes to her plate. "What? No! I...you know that crush I had on you as a wee lass? It, uh, never went away." When there was no response, she looked fearfully up to discover that Duke was staring like he just could not wrap his head around the words she'd uttered. "Duke? Say something, Boss, I'm too far away to hit you."

Finally, he closed his mouth and shook his head in wonder. "Call your mom," he suggested. "I think you're going to be staying overnight."

Then it was her turn to stare, open-mouthed. One long-fingered hand curled intimately around hers, thumb brushing over her knuckles. When she still couldn't string together two words, he stood and came around the table to lean down and kiss her softly, as if afraid she would pull back.

"Staying overnight," she repeated in a high voice as the kiss ended. "Sure thing, Boss."

As delicious as dinner was, neither of them tasted it, their minds almost entirely on what would happen when it was over.

 

* * *

  
The phone rang just as Duke finished heaving Julia's steamer trunk into the back of his truck. Audrey, great. He answered it absently, attention on the tiny woman skipping down the steps with a duffel bag over one shoulder. "Yeah."

_"Duke, hey, was there a...stunningly beautiful woman at the Gull last night?"_

"Yes there was," he said with evident satisfaction as Julia smiled at him.

_"Did she sleep with anyone? Do you know where she went, where she is now?"_

Slightly confused now, he said, "Yes, yes, yes, and that's creepy. Who told you?"

_"What? Duke, you need to tell me everything, we think she's aging men to death by sleeping with them."_

"Okay, I think we're talking about two different women," he said, frowning at nothing.

Audrey paused _. "...who are_ you _talking about?"_

"Look, Audrey, I'd like to help you but I'm kind of busy right now helping a friend move."

Julia tossed her bag in the back and asked quietly, "What's she want?"

"To know about some predatory dame she thinks was at the Gull," he answered, one hand over the phone.

"The brunette in the purple dress?"

_"Duke, who are you talking to? Did she see the woman?"_

"The friend I'm helping move, and I guess so? Brunette in a purple dress."

_"I need your friend to talk to a sketch artist. Can you bring her by Haven PD?"_

Duke directed a long-suffering look of _Why me?_ to the heavens, free arm raised in mute supplication. "Let me ask." Phone now pressed to his chest, he flashed an apologetic look at Julia. "Audrey wants to know if you'll talk to a sketch artist about the brunette. Feel free to say no."

"Is there a good reason for me to turn her down?"

"Well, that depends. She _is_ the friend who stood me up."

Julia grinned, toothy and fierce. "I want to meet her."

"She says yes," he sighed into the phone.

 

* * *

  
Duke wasn't an unusual sight in the police station, although _not_ being in handcuffs was a change of pace. Vince was chatting quietly with the Chief, but they both stopped to smile at the tiny woman following Duke in.

"Julia?" Vince exclaimed. "You're the witness?"

"I guess so?"

Vince gestured her over. "Come over here, tell me what she looked like."

"Why don't you and me have a little talk," the Chief said quietly, drawing Duke over to the side.

Several minutes passed quietly until Vince finished his sketch and called Audrey's name. She and Nathan came out of their office to peer at it, dismissing Duke ad barely glancing at Julia.

"Good," Audrey said after a minute. "We can take a copy of this when we go talk to the harbormaster. Thank you..."

"Julia Carr," she answered, shaking Audrey's hand. "You're Audrey Parker, the friend who stood Duke up last night?"

Audrey winced while Nathan stared in evident disapproval, suddenly very intent on Duke's presence and the fact that he - and the Chief - were approaching. "Yes," she said reluctantly.

Julia beamed. "I just want to say thank you. The dinner you missed was amazing, and what happened after was even _more_ amazing."

"Wait, you're saying..." Almost horrified, she looked back and forth between the short woman and the tall, disreputable man who'd been just a hair too enthusiastic about a beautiful woman who was _not_ Helena. "No. Dinner is one thing, but I'm not _remotely_ interested in...no offense," she finished lamely.

"Your loss." Julia shrugged.

Duke draped an arm around her, pulling her gently against his chest. "And now, Detective Parker, if you have no further need of this wee lass, I'd like to finish moving her into the _Cape_."

Vince looked like he was choking soundlessly.

"Okay, hold up." Audrey actually held a hand up, although no one was protesting. "One night and she's moving in?"

"Well..." Nathan trailed off as if suddenly reconsidering the rest of that sentence, just as the Chief said, "Finally!" in a very satisfied tone.

Audrey looked back and forth between them. "Finally? After one night?"

"It's a Haven thing," Nathan said, uncomfortable with the entire subject.

"A Haven thing." Audrey looked beyond skeptical. "Duke can't be _that_ good in bed."

"Hey!"

"He can when you've been waiting most of your life for it." Julia grinned up at Duke, who bent to kiss her.

"Most of your life? Really?" she asked Duke. "You kept her waiting that long?"

"Hey, she was out of town for fourteen years," he protested, holding his tiny girlfriend close.

"And before that?"

"Statutory rape. Her mother would have skinned me alive."

Julia shook her head. "Nope. Cut your balls off with pinking shears."

"...and that's _if_ the town didn't skewer me on pitchforks and roast me alive over a bonfire."

Audrey looked around, but no one was acting like this was in the least bit weird. "Right," she said at last. "Haven thing."


	2. Death Party, hold the chameleon

"Julia, here, had the _biggest_ crush on me when she was but a wee lass."

Past Audrey, Julia could see her mother giving her the 'no' eyes and the little shake of her head that meant 'don't even think about it'. Well, that was just too bad for her, because Julia wasn't a minor anymore and she fully intended to see how things stood with Duke 'make your own fun at school' Crocker. "Please," she said airily, confident because this was an excuse they both knew was a sham, "I put up with your hipster chin fuzz so you'd tell me cool traveling stories."

"She loooooved me," he assured the audience that was generally amused on the part of Audrey and distinctly not amused on the part of Eleanor.

Thankfully, Nathan wheeled the luggage trolley in, distracting both woman and giving Julia a chance to punch Duke in the upper arm. Not full strength, just hard enough to evoke their old pattern.

"Wench," he muttered, not upset at all. "What was that for?"

"Talk later, when we can get away from mom," she muttered back.

The first opportunity came when the party in general voted to pick out rooms before settling down to do presents. That opportunity was scuttled by Eleanor following Julia doggedly and picking a room directly next to hers.  With how old and creaky the floor was, there would be no sneaking out or in without alerting the watchful mother. Then there were presents opened while the storm raged overhead. The power went out twice, but was restored too quickly for either pirate or wench to slip off. In between, Julia was strong-armed into helping Eleanor in the kitchen and bringing out refreshments. Finally, after the cake was cut and Audrey settled in a corner with Mr. and Mrs. Carpenter, Chief Wuornos gestured Eleanor out of the room for a quiet word. Julia immediately announced a need to visit the rest room, and Duke wandered out a minute later.

He found her lurking by the back staircase. "Your mom still doesn't like me," he said, sounding far too pleased with that.

Julia snorted. "Yeah, well, she can deal with it because I'm not a child anymore and I plan to move out as soon as I can. So, how've you been?" she asked casually.

"Been worse," he deferred, leaning against the wall next to her.

She grinned up at him. "Is the _Cape_ still the only lady in your life?"

"You know me too well, wench." Duke grinned back down at her and she took her courage in both hands.

"Is there room for another lady? Because you're still unfairly hot and I'm not jailbait anymore."

Duke froze. "What?"

"Unfairly hot, you set my panties on fire, I wanna ride you all night long, me love you long time, get out of my dreams and into my bed, I'm sexually attracted to you, let's fuck?"

 

* * *

 

 

A handful of minutes later, Eleanor came looking for them, trailed by Nathan and Audrey. She found them against the wall, a puddle of discarded clothing against the baseboards beneath Julia, who had both her legs wrapped around Duke's hips while his trousers pooled around his ankles.

"Don't stop," she growled into his ear, both hands in his hair, when Eleanor cried her name in shock.

Without faltering in his rhythm, he half-asked, "But your mother..."

"I don't care! I'm close!"

Audrey, wide-eyed, averted her gaze. Nathan looked like he couldn't decide if he was frustrated, disgusted, infuriated, or envious. Eleanor clapped both hands over her eyes, vibrating with fury, while her daughter was brought crashing over the edge by Duke Crocker, who finished a moment later. As if to make any potential humiliation complete, Eleanor's horrified cry brought the other guests running as fast as aged bodies could move. The Chief seemed to be the only one unfazed by the scene. Vince looked like he was literally choking on his outrage, and Dave merely said, "Oh, my" in a mild tone. 

Still holding Julia up, Duke peered over his shoulder and took in the audience they'd gained. "What," he panted, "no standing ovation?"


	3. Evi gets hers, Duke gets Julia

"It wouldn't mean anything," Duke warned the black woman, his back against one of the porch posts.

Inside the Grey Gull, visible from his position but not hers, Julia remained where she'd been when she'd handed him the bottle of wine and two glasses. She'd heard the whole conversation, and Evi's attempts at seducing him would be more effective if he weren't worried about what Julia thought was going on. She didn't like Evi, that much was clear, but he wasn't sure if it was because she was jealous, or just because Evi was toxic and there was a _reason_ he'd ended their relationship.

"Then do it," Evi said challengingly, getting as far up into his face as she could. Behind her, Julia glared daggers and then spun and dashed for the bar. "Come on, Crocker."

Duke's heart sank. He'd ruined any chance of anything he could potentially have had with the wee lass who'd followed him like his shadow as a teenager. On top of that, he was going to have to kiss his ex to prove to her that he was over her, that she couldn't tempt him, but he wasn't very certain that she _couldn't_ tempt him.

As he lowered his lips to hers, music wafted out of the Gull.

_Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend!_

To Evi's irritation, his half of the kiss was decidedly lackluster, focused as he was on making out the lyrics. Then he raised his eyes to find Julia, looking for a sign that the choice of music was deliberate, and discovered that she'd removed her shirt and was dropping her bra on the floor. Her expression, when he tore his gaze away from the soft, forbidden fruit now revealed and peaking in the cool evening air, was determined and every bit as challenging as Evi's tone had been - but a hundred times more temping. She grinned when she saw him looking, both hands going to the fly of her jeans.

Duke lost the ability to form coherent thought.

Vaguely, he realized he needed to get rid of Evi and found himself kissing her with more passion, backing her up to the railing overlooking the water, lifting her up to sit. She smiled, thinking she'd won, and that's when he broke the kiss and pushed her just hard enough that she flailed for a long moment before toppling into the darkness. Before the splash, before even the cursing, he'd turned away and was dashing for the doorway to the Gull but Julia had slipped out of her jeans and was there, grabbing the box from the table, giving him a smirk that invited him to chase her as she dashed back inside.

When he got to the doorway, she was sprawled over the bar, tucking the box safely away behind it, panties dangling from one ankle. "Wench!" It was the only word he could force out, and he wasn't entirely sure what he intended it to convey.

"Have a seat and I'll be right with you, Boss," she chirped, turning around.

When Evi crawled out of the water and made her dripping way up to the doorway to look for Duke, ready to curse him out, she saw him seated with a very naked Julia riding him hard, both hands in his hair.

 

* * *

 

 

The knock on the _Cape's_ door the next morning went unanswered for a minute. Then bare footsteps approached and slowly, the door opened to reveal a very tousled Duke wearing nothing but pants that clung precariously to his hips.

"What do you want, Evi?"

She held out a cardboard cup. "Coffee?"

He didn't take it. "Mine's better."

She held out the bakery bag in her other hand. "Breakfast?"

"You interrupted it."

"Don't tell me you cooked like that," she scoffed.

From inside, a female voice yelled, "Duke! Breakfast!"

"Coming," he called over his shoulder.

"Again?" The voice sounded amused. "So soon?" It was coming closer. "Without me?" The woman from the previous night - Evi recognized her by her hair - stepped into view and slid one arm around Duke's waist. She wasn't wearing anything aside from an apron.

"Wench," Duke said affectionately, leaning over to kiss her. "Why would I get started without you? I mean really, what would be the point?"

She went on tiptoes to kiss him back. "Breakfast is getting cold."

Evi felt the creeping chill of uncertainty and having lost control. "Duke, what's going on?"

"What's going on," he said sharply, "Is that I _told_ you I wanted nothing to do with you, and you didn't believe me. I _told_ you it would mean nothing, and you didn't believe me. So now I'm _telling_ you that _you_ mean nothing to me, and the only reason I'm not calling Nathan to have you arrested for trespassing is because my kitchen wench made me breakfast and it's getting cold."

"But-"

Duke didn't give her a chance to say more than that. "Remember what it said on the inside of the box? Love conquers all, Evi. I've loved Julia for longer than I've known you, and the _only_ reason I'm glad you came back is that last night showed me that Julia's loved me for just as long." Beside him, the tiny woman smirked in undisguised victory. "So, thank you for that, but kindly get the _hell_ out of my life and don't come back."

The door swung shut and a muffled giggle could be heard from the other side, the kind that faded into an appreciative sound. Evi blinked, feeling the morning breeze cooling the coffee and whisking away the shattered remains of her plans.  



End file.
